June 5-11

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As we read the chapters this week, it’s important to keep in mind that these are the last words that Christ is choosing to share with His disciples before His agony. It’s obviously not the last time He will be speaking with them, but He is aware that many of them will feel confused over the events that unfold over the next couple of days. These are the words that He wants to leave with them before the dark time that is coming.

John 16:20-22

20 Verily, verily, I say unto you, That ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall rejoice: and ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy.

21 A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world.

22 And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.

Christ is telling the apostles exactly what is going to happen. He warns them that while the world rejoices, they will feel sorrowful. He gives them an analogy surrounding a woman in childbirth. When she is in the middle of labor, she’s in excruciating pain. However, afterwards, the joy is so overpowering that the anguish is forgotten. Christ very clearly tells them that He is going to die, and He has told them this fact before. Though He teaches about His death very clearly (as does the entire Old Testament), the apostles don’t seem to grasp it. Though He teaches them that they will suffer and struggle and ultimately experience joy, it didn’t seem to sink in. 

Christ’s predictions obviously come true. He is killed on the cross and laid in the tomb. Everyone is extremely forlorn and shocked. They are disappointed beyond measure. The most powerful Man they had ever met was dead. If He was the Son of God, how were they able to kill Him? It all seems so confusing to them despite the fact that Christ had told them beforehand. Thomas was so convinced of Christ’s death that he refused to believe that Christ had risen again even after hearing the witnesses of his close friends. 

And more of Christ’s predictions come true. After three days of darkness, the sorrow of Christ’s closest mortal friends very quickly turns to joy. 

A shadow of things to come

I feel like it’s very easy for us to be confused at the confusion of the apostles. Christ had very clearly told them that He would die. He told them that they would suffer but that their joy would become incomparable. Why were they so shocked when it occurred? 

Interestingly enough, I feel as though we are often shocked by things that occur in our own mortal lives. We’re so surprised when difficult things come along. We are caught off guard when we are asked to make sacrifices that seem almost cruel. We’re thrown off balance when we run into obstacles when we’re trying to do what’s right. We are stunned when people hate us for trying to do good. 

But why? When we have been told over and over and over that we came to mortality to grow and overcome, why are we so surprised when hard things come along to strengthen us? It is no secret that the Savior sent us here to taste the bitter so that we could fully understand the sweet, and yet, we cringe away from the bitter so entirely. Sometimes we may even react in anger that the Savior could possibly let something like that occur to us when He so often professes His love for us. If He is truly so powerful, how could He have let this happen? And when we have experienced His power personally, it may feel that much more painful when He didn’t stop the difficult things from happening. 

Like the apostles, we forget that the Savior warned us of this. He warned us that we would be called upon to sacrifice like Abraham. He warned us that people would hate us for loving Him. He told us that it would be difficult to follow Him. He taught us that suffering was essential to the process of exaltation and ultimate joy; exaltation is impossible without it! We have been told and taught and warned of difficult things to come, but we have also been promised joy.

If they had believed in the coming joy

Just like the apostles had a hard time grasping the concept of Christ’s death, they had a difficult time understanding that He was coming back again. Just like they failed to recognize the travail they had been warned about, they also missed the promise at the end – the promise of joy so sublime that they would forget the pain. 

How might things have played out differently for the apostles if they had been able to understand what Christ had told them? How would their experience have felt different if they knew what was around the corner?

I imagine there would have been a deep reverence for His sacrifice. There would have been tears shed for His pain. There would have been tears shed as they watched much of the world rejoice over such a barbaric event. And yet in the midst of those struggles, there would have been an acceptance and assurance. 

How might our experience be different if we internalize what Christ has told us repeatedly? 

There is another verse.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

I think this verse can mean a lot of different things. However, when I interpreted it this week, I saw something new. When the world tries to give peace, it tries to eliminate suffering. This is valiant and important work. We should be working to lessen the suffering of our brothers and sisters. But Christ doesn’t often do what the world was, and He told us clearly that His peace would not be like the world’s. 

Whenever I have sought peace growing up, I always prayed for it and waited for it to happen. I waited for the Savior to eliminate the trial or bestow a blanket of peace. When this didn’t happen, it confused me. Whenever I found myself in a dark hole, praying for the Lord to help me get out of it, I would feel disappointed and abandoned when I wasn’t lifted out. It always bothered me a bit when I never felt Him come to the rescue. It would hurt when I listened to stories of how the Lord had sent someone to alleviate a burden or how they had immediately felt a sense of peace. Why did I not receive those same gifts? I prayed for them. Didn’t He promise peace?

As my testimony has strengthened, I have developed the peace I was looking for. Let me explain what I mean by “developed.” 

I suppose the simplest way of explaining it is this: I got the order wrong. When the darkness came along, I would pray for peace so that I could know He was there. Now that I’m older and wiser, I have gained a testimony that He is personally there for me and peace comes automatically with that. My peace grows every time I choose to trust my relationship with Him more.

When you’re insecure in a relationship, you are constantly seeking validation. And if you continue to be insecure, no amount of validation can fill your need for it. Christ has already promised to be there. He has promised to wipe away every tear. He has promised that we will be given joy that will far exceed any of our pains. He already told us. He can’t really tell us anymore than He already has. It’s our turn to start believing Him. 

Christ warned the apostles of the coming trials and joy. Because they were still young in the gospel, they had a hard time grasping it and it made things that much more difficult. If we can grow in our own testimonies of who Christ is and what He has already told us, it will clear the way for the peace we are seeking. If we believe Him when He tells us that hard things are coming and if we believe Him when He promises to make it all better, our entire experience in mortality shifts. 

But the change has to come within us. The Savior couldn’t force the apostles to believe or understand just like He doesn’t force us. We have to be the ones who change and internalize His words.