October 9-15

If you prefer to listen over reading an article, keep an eye on Autumn Dickson on YouTube or various podcast platforms. I post video and podcast versions of my blog posts on my Youtube channel and on the podcast platforms: Apple, Anchor, Breaker, Google Podcasts, and Spotify.

Looking for a different week in the Come Follow Me program? Check out this link to find posts by week: https://autumndickson.com/category/come-follow-me/ 

Philippians might just be one of my new favorites in the New Testament after reading it this week. Paul was bearing his testimony of Christ as he sat in prison, away from so many people that he loved. He fervently expresses how he feels about Christ and the gospel.

Philippians 1:12 But I would ye should understand, brethren, that the things which happened unto me have fallen out rather unto the furtherance of the gospel;

Philippians 3:7-8

7 But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.

8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,

Philippians 4:6-7

6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

All things that have happened to Paul have furthered the gospel. Anything Paul has lost is like dung to him in comparison to what he’s found in Christ. There is no reason to be unduly concerned; the peace of God can pass all understanding. And finally, he can do anything through Christ. 

These are all big ideas, and sometimes it can be hard to step into Paul’s intense feelings as we read his sentiments. When life is kinda passing by, it can be hard to call upon these really strong emotions surrounding Christ and His gospel. When life is difficult, it may be hard to relate to Paul and his rejoicing. 

As I considered Paul and how strongly he felt about Jesus Christ, it occurred to me that a good portion of his faith likely came because of his testifying. He was a missionary who testified frequently, but then he also had the opportunity to testify in his letters, and I believe this greatly influenced his attitude towards his own life experiences.

Paul’s experience

I did not sit in the prison cell with Paul as he wrote these letters. I do not know whether he had moments of weakness like the rest of us. I’m not sure whether he had periods of time in which he felt darkness despite his testimony. 

When I personally picture Paul sitting in prison, I do picture him having moments of weakness. Perhaps I am completely wrong in this, but I’m teaching a principle so we’re going to roll with it. I picture him wishing that he could simply escape from all of it. Maybe there were moments when he completely fell apart (even if he did know that Christ was there with him). 

But I also imagine that something might have changed in him as he found himself writing letters to his beloved converts. He may have been having a hard time, but he also knew the power his letters would have on those who would read them (even if he didn’t know that much of humanity would be reading them one day). He felt that weight and responsibility, and he decided that he was going to bless them and testify of Christ because he knew they likely needed it as much as he did.

And then I picture something changing in him as he wrote. While he knows that Christ never left him, perhaps the necessity of testifying to the Saints reminded him of what mortal life and eternity were truly about. Perhaps his responsibility to encourage the Christians brought to mind all of the past times that Christ protected him, loved him, and enabled him to continue his work even in the midst of oppression. Maybe as he testified for the sake of the Saints, he remembered everything he had gained from Christ and it completely changed his feelings of darkness.

My own experience

Maybe I’m totally wrong in how I pictured Paul in prison; maybe he never paused in his rejoicings in Christ. Maybe I’m just projecting my own issues onto him, but I have a sneaking suspicion that there are plenty of others who have the same issues as me. Regardless of whether this was an accurate depiction of Paul’s experience in prison, I do believe that Paul got to where he is partially due to all the testifying he did. I know this because writing and bearing my testimony every week has changed me. 

There have been plenty of moments of darkness over the past three years as I’ve done this blog. My feelings have ranged from, “I have no idea what we’re going to do,” to, “There is no way in heck we can do this.” My family and I have experienced betrayal, job loss, job insecurity, depression, sickness, immense amounts of stress that made it feel like we would never be able to pull our heads out from under the water again. 

I don’t bring these things up to garner sympathy. I bring them up because I know my family is not alone in these feelings. We are not the only ones who have felt despair, discouragement, and frightening uncertainty. Perhaps you feel that way now.

In the midst of these overwhelming feelings and circumstances, I’ve also had to find it within myself to write about the Savior and His gospel. It has changed everything. 

When I feel like we’re sitting in the midst of mountains that will crush us, the Spirit has led me to write words like Paul: “All of these bad things have simply furthered the gospel.” And as I write those words, I see the truth of them (Phil 1:12).

When I wallow in the sacrifices I’ve been called upon to make, the Spirit prompts me to write about everything the gospel brings and I become extremely humbled. I see how even my sacrifices have given me the things that matter most (Phil 3:7-8).

There is probably no stronger lesson I’ve learned than the Lord telling me not to give undue concern towards anything. As I’ve found myself on my knees pleading for help in life and then pleading for help to get these dang posts written on top of it, the Lord has promised (and followed through) over and over and over again. He is kind and reminds me that He has the power to follow through, and this gives me the peace to simply do what I can and leave the rest to Him (Phil 4:6-7).

As I’ve been pushed to look back at my experiences with Him (so I could write about them), I feel like David fighting Goliath. He already slew a lion and a bear; what’s some big guy compared to that? The Lord has carried me through all of these other things, and He has helped me see that He can carry me through whatever comes. I know that I can do anything necessary because I know the power of Christ (Phil 4:13).

Different ways to testify

I remember praying a long time ago, telling the Lord that I wanted a personal relationship with Him. I told Him that I didn’t want Him to feel like some abstract Being; I wanted to feel the reality of my relationship with Him. I believe His answer was this blog. Nothing has brought me closer to Him, not even my mission. I believe that is because I’ve had to work to testify of Him frequently, and I’ve been doing it in the context of normal life. I testified of the Savior plenty on my mission, but now I testify of Him and see Him in the context of my every-day life.

As I have practiced testifying in my blog, I have seen that skill expand in different directions. When I pray, I often will pour my heart out to my Savior, but then I follow it up by telling Him that I know He can help me. When I write about what we’re experiencing in my journal, I feel my words go from writing about the problem to writing about my confidence in Christ. The Lord knew I needed this blog to push me harder to seek Him out because I wasn’t doing it on my own, but I also know that you don’t have to write a blog to feel how Paul feels. This kind of testifying can be done in your calling, relationships, journals, and prayers. It can be as simple as repeating an affirmation in your mind over and over. I think of Gordon B. Hinckly who said, “It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us.”

If you are in the midst of trial, trouble, personal failures, anything, affirm your testimony to yourself and those who are struggling with you. It changes how you feel.