November 13-19

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In some ways, the epistle of James reminds me of Proverbs. There are plenty of mini sermons and small principles taught succinctly in a verse or two. Even in the midst of one verse, you find different kinds of advice about how to live a holy life. The mini sermon I want to cover in this post is found right at the beginning. 

James 1:2-4

2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

This particular group of verses talk about a perspective that is not often adopted in our society. James counsels us to count it as joy when we fall into divers temptations. When you read the footnote, it states that he was talking about adversity. In other words, James says, “Be happy that your faith is being tried! It’s a good thing!” When our faith is tried, we find patience. As time moves along, we can eventually be found complete and perfect.

Despite our own personal frustrations or despair in the midst of adversity, I feel like most of us have a pretty solid understanding that trials had to be part of life. Otherwise, there would be nothing for us to strengthen ourselves against. We are grateful we could come down to earth and experience this growing process; that was the entire reason we wanted to come here.

But general adversity is not what I want to talk about. There is a particular phrase that caught my attention within these verses, and though James was speaking of adversity in general, it made me think of a specific type of adversity.

Faith tried by doubt

In the latter days, doubt has become absolutely rampant.  We are bombarded with it everywhere, especially if we find ourselves on any kind of media. It often terrifies me when I think about trying to help my kids maneuver the constant barrage of the philosophies of men. There are a great many ways that our faith can be tried, and I think one of the hardest tests our faith faces is doubt. 

When we’re struggling with trials in general, hopefully we have reached a point in our lives where we turn to the Lord. When we’re going through tough times, we have an awareness that sometimes the Lord says no. Though He may not remove the trial, we hope that we can reach towards Him and feel Him walking with us through the midst of it. Though it may feel painful, we will hopefully feel ourselves getting stronger and closer to Him.

However, when it comes to having our faith tried by doubt, I think we treat it differently. When you’re in the midst of doubts, questions, and perspectives that have thrown your faith off kilter, it can be easy to feel like you’re getting weaker. You feel farther away from Heavenly Father rather than closer even though your actions haven’t really changed.

Perhaps we find ourselves pleading with the Lord to save us as He saved Peter that day while walking on the water. Doesn’t He want our faith to be strong? Why is He lingering so far away? Why can’t we feel the Spirit like we used to? If He really wants us to be on this specific path of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, why isn’t He answering us and helping to clear things up? Or, at the very least, why isn’t He helping us feel the Spirit even if He’s not ready to answer our questions? Maybe we’re praying and pleading and reading the scriptures and going to church, but nothing is forthcoming. You would think that Heavenly Father would want to help us resolve our doubts immediately. This is not always the case.

Why?

The answer is still growth

James counsels us to count it joy when our faith is tried because it brings patience and eventually perfection; this goes for trial by doubt as well. Though we may treat doubts differently than we do other trials, the positive outcome can still be the same as any other trial. This may seem counterintuitive, but why wouldn’t the Lord try our patience in all sorts of different ways? If we can find reasons to rejoice in the midst of other kinds of trials, then I’m positive we can find reasons to rejoice in this kind of trial.

When you’re trying to build strength with your physical body, you don’t just work out one of the muscles. You don’t do biceps curls day in and day out. If you do, you’ll find yourself considerably weaker no matter how much time you spend on your biceps. It’s the same spiritually. That muscle of faith needs to be tried in a variety of ways to find true growth. When we find ourselves or a loved one with a debilitating illness, our faith in the resurrection of the Savior can be strengthened. When we find ourselves in financial trouble, our faith in His ability to keep us safe grows. When we find ourselves faced with doubts we’ve never considered before, it may feel like we are being torn down rather than strengthened, but I’m convinced that it doesn’t have to be that way.

The Lord is training us to be like Him. He’s not just trying to find a bunch of mortals willing to bow down to Him which is why He, like most parents, doesn’t want to tell us every little thing we should do. He wants us to choose good and fill our time. He taught us and gave us brains and desires and talents. He wants us to purposefully choose and utilize our minds because coaching us is far more powerful for our growth than giving us all the answers.

It is the same with doubt. He may not answer all of our questions or swoop in and save us immediately when we feel like we’re drowning a bit. When we are faced with perspectives we can’t shake or questions we can’t answer, we still have a choice, and the Lord wants us to have choices. He wants us to choose to follow Him through anything. Satan would have us believe that there is nothing to do but succumb to our doubts, but it’s simply not true. We can still choose.

Utilizing doubt for personal strengthening

If you haven’t been with my blog for long, then you might have missed my post about having some mental illness. One of the most debilitating effects of mental illness is how it blocks you from being able to feel the Spirit. I’m sure the Lord could very easily reach down through the darkness or numbness, but for reasons we’ve discussed abundantly, He doesn’t choose to. There have been times in my life where I’ve pleaded with Him to help me feel Him close, and yet, I have still only felt darkness. There have been times when I went through all the normal actions of following the gospel and still, I would feel nothing. 

As I would pull out of the depression, I would often begin to feel the Spirit again. It was during one of these times that the Spirit taught me that the Lord was closer than I thought, even though I couldn’t feel Him directly. Silence on the part of the Lord didn’t have to refute everything I had felt and come to believe before that. Perhaps the silence you feel isn’t coming from depression, but the principle remains: the Lord is still there!

There have been a million examples in the world of science where phenomena occurred that baffled even the most advanced experts. They don’t abandon science because the answers aren’t all there; they don’t abandon everything they’ve come to learn when something unexpected comes along and doesn’t perfectly fit into the paradigms they have previously formed. Rather, they utilize those occurrences to further hypothesize and experiment and rearrange their paradigms so they draw ever closer to the truth.

It can be the same in our faith. If your faith is being tried by doubt, consider why you ever believed in the first place. Think back on (better yet, write down) past examples of times when you felt or experienced the Lord. Write down some of the truths you do know. For example, maybe you don’t understand some of the things that occurred with women in the history of the church, but you can feel a very solid relationship with your Heavenly Father. You can feel very distinctly that you matter to Him. Don’t abandon all your previous observations. Simply utilize the new ones. Understand that new perspectives and facts can actually serve us and tweak some of the paradigms we have about God that may not have been perfectly accurate. 

If the Lord feels far away, don’t fret. It doesn’t have to mean that you’ve fallen out of favor or that you’ve imagined Him your entire life. Rather, reframe these moments in your life as opportunities to dig deeper. Sometimes digging deeper looks like putting more spiritual effort into your life. But also remember that sometimes digging deeper means diving deep into your own heart to find strength you didn’t know you had. It can mean finding resolve and choosing loyalty to a Lord who loves you even if He doesn’t choose to share everything right when you want it. 

I feel like there are crucial moments in life where we get to find out what we truly believe. I can say I believe in the resurrection of the Lord and the sealing power all I want, but when I have a family member pass on, I get to really face whether I believe in those things. It is the same when we are faced with doubts. Sometimes the Lord may be stepping back so that we can more fully choose, all by ourselves, whether we’re going to continue following Him. 

Perhaps it is easier to follow the Lord and remain loyal in times of other kinds of adversity. Perhaps it may feel scarier to follow the Lord when you’re worried about whether you truly are following the right path, but I promise that these moments of doubt will become the strongest allies in your testimony should you choose to continue to follow Him. These will be the moments where you look back and saw the biggest growth and the greatest miracles as you chose faith, even when you couldn’t see everything perfectly.

It is worth being patient through every kind of trial, including doubts, and it is these exact experiences that will eventually perfect us. In any kind of experience where we choose to follow the Lord despite difficulty, we will find more on the other side. The Savior does love you. He will fix everything and explain everything. He is worth following.