January 12-18

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Not Meant to Be Alone: Embracing the Lord’s Pattern for Happiness 

The world is so confused. The more I learn about the gospel and the more I observe the world, the more I’m amazed at how lost the world is. The world is constantly seeking happiness, but it still seems so elusive. 

I testify that there is joy to be found, and it is found in following the patterns of the Lord.

Moses 3:18 And I, the Lord God, said unto mine Only Begotten, that it was not good that the man should be alone; wherefore, I will make an help meet for him. 

And the Lord created Eve for Adam. They were married for eternity. They went through the “dating” stage where everything was perfect, and they also crossed over into the mortal, fallen world where they had a lot to learn and figure out. They had to toil and sacrifice together. They worshipped together. 

This is one of the ultimate patterns of the Lord. 

The ideal is marriage. It is not good for man or woman to be alone. That is the truth. God declared it Himself in the beginning. We were not meant to be alone.

Let’s talk about a couple of ways that our world is fallen and tries to take this away from us.

We live in a fallen world, full of hurt and selfishness and abuse and apathy and neglect. Somewhere inside, we know that we were meant to have true joy and so in a confused attempt to achieve this joy, we walk away from difficult and painful things. We shy away and assert that we’re happier on our own. 

And honestly, that is probably true in specific circumstances. Perhaps a person who has been abused for years in a scary marriage has finally found peace in the quiet that has been left behind after that marriage has fallen apart. Perhaps this person has found themselves again and likes who they are. Of course they are happier than they were in a toxic relationship.

But ultimate joy is found in following the pattern of the Lord and no matter what you’ve been through, the Lord stands ready to walk that hard path back towards healing and peace so that you’re prepared to find joy on the other end.

We live in a fallen world where many find themselves without a partner through no fault of their own. We live in a fallen world where many long for this pattern but it hasn’t come to them yet.

Just because the Lord has an ideal and you haven’t received that blessing yet does not immediately equate with being unloved or being unworthy. It does not mean that your life has to be void of joy or meaning. When I say that marriage is the ideal, I’m not simultaneously testifying that being alone means worthless. It’s not worthless. The Lord can take any journey on any path and turn it into powerful, meaningful, joy-filled growth opportunities.

We teach that marriage is ideal, not because we want to rub salt in the wounds of those who find that truth painful but because we want to testify of what the Lord wants them to have. 

He wants you to find what Adam and Eve found. He wants you to find what it means to labor alongside an eternal partner. He wants you to find what He has found with your Heavenly Mother. That blessing is there. He can see it. 

We live in a fallen world where the ideal is far away from many. Even if you’re not abused, there are many who worship without a spouse who has stepped away. There are many who long for an eternal sealing, a full bench during sacrament meeting, someone to engage in the deepest parts of life with. There are many who have been victims of infidelity, and there are many who are the ones who engaged in the infidelity and also feel far away from the ideal.

I testify that the truth is this: It is not good for man or woman to be alone.

I also testify of another truth. Christ can take you exactly where you’re at, no matter how far away you feel from the ideal. I testify that Christ knows how you feel. I testify that He stands ready to walk the path before you with you.

In The Book of Mormon, we learn about the strait and narrow path to walk towards the love of God. It is not “straight.” It is “strait,” meaning “narrow.” I understand that this partially refers to the covenant path, but I also believe there is another layer of meaning. 

When we picture the traditional life in church, we see finishing high school, going to college, serving a mission, coming home, getting married, finishing college, and having kids (sometimes with varying order). That’s the path. It’s straight. We can see it. We know how it’s supposedly meant to happen. 

But God set us up for a fallen world, and that means that there isn’t a “straight” path. There are only “strait” paths. There is a path for you to walk, and along that path, there are pieces of salvation that you will be picking up. A spouse, selflessness, compassion, knowledge. God can see your strait path, and Christ stands ready to walk it with you. The ideal is available to you even if it’s not the path you would have chosen for yourself. Trust me; the path that God chooses is so much better even if it feels painful right now. 

I testify that the ideal is to not be alone. The world will tell you that you’re better off alone or that you don’t need a relationship, and they’re right but only to an extent. You can be happy on your own. However, the ideal, the most amount of joy available, comes from being in a relationship centered on Christ. God declared this truth, Himself. Sometimes this truth feels unbearably painful because it feels withheld or tangled up with trauma, but it is still the truth. Luckily, I can simultaneously testify that if we cling to the Savior, He can help us find that ideal and He can help us be able to find joy in the strait path that eventually leads to the ideal. You can find joy now in less than ideal circumstances if you include Christ, and you will also eventually find the ultimate joy if you continue to hold to Christ.