When Things Feel Unfair, Remember This

Did Christ have to suffer our infirmities in order to bring us home?

December 8-14

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When Things Feel Unfair, Remember This About Christ’s Atonement

In the past, I have shied away from talking about the official declarations, not because I don’t believe what’s in them, but because I feel that there are an immense number of people who can speak on those subjects with more knowledge, wisdom, and personal experience than I can. That being said, I do my best to simply share what the Lord wants me to share, and if I get some of the details wrong, the principles that I teach are true and I figure the Lord forgives me and is proud of me for making the attempt. 

This week, we read about a polygamy and race and the priesthood. For many, these are not easy topics. This post is not to try and convince anyone that the church is true. Rather, I hope that this post can comfort those who still believe that this church holds the fullness of the gospel but simultaneously feel pain when reading these declarations.

As I was studying for this post, I came across a talk that we’ll discuss more about later, but I wanted to start with this quote from President Eyring’s April 2009 General Conference address titled “Adversity.” President Eyring is speaking of trials and difficulty when he says, “The anger comes at least in part from a feeling that what is happening is unfair…When they vanish, a feeling of injustice can come.”

I think some people can relate to these feelings of unfairness and injustice when speaking about the declarations. If you’ve received a testimony of the gospel and you know the Lord has led you here, sometimes this makes it more painful, not less. Instead of being able to say, “God would never allow something so unfair,” you find yourself with the feeling of, “God you’re telling me to come here, but this was so unfair. Don’t you love me? How could you do this if you really love me?” 

Though you may be feeling these questions in a very specific context, these questions are not new or unique. You are not the only one to ask them. As part of our mortal experience, each of us reaches some experience where we ask those same questions. Is God truly fair? Does He really love us? Why does He allow such suffering? I have answered those questions many times in the past, but today, I don’t want to answer those questions. Rather, I want to share something that the Spirit whispered to me recently.

This is not an Article of Faith or excerpt from the Official Declarations, but I hope it soothes some of what people may feel when they struggle with the declarations. I want to share something from The Book of Mormon; Alma is speaking to the people of Gideon about the Savior.

Alma 7:11-12

11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities. 

We read these verses at church this past week, and I had a thought occur to me. Perhaps I’m rather late in noticing this nuance, but that’s okay. It struck me rather hard. 

Christ suffered for our sins. He paid for them. He died and was resurrected. This enabled us to return to live with our Heavenly Father. It saved us. 

But Christ also suffered for our infirmities. I always knew that this particular suffering happened with the atonement. He suffered for our pains and sicknesses just like He suffered for our sins, but that’s two different ideas; isn’t it? 

Did Christ have to suffer for our infirmities as part of the atonement? Was that absolutely necessary in order to help us return to live with God? Or did He just do it because He loves us and wants to be there for us? Did He really need to do that? Or did He simply want to? Could He have skipped that whole bit altogether and just brought us home at the end of the mortal experience? After looking into these questions a bit more, I found the talk from President Eyring that I referenced earlier. 

President Eyring’s ideas are based on this phrase in the same chapter of Alma.

Alma 7:13 Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh…

In response to the passage in Alma 7, President Eyring teaches, “He could have known how to succor us simply by revelation, but He chose to learn by His own personal experience.” 

He chose to suffer with you. He could have said, “Hey I know it feels unfair and unjust. I know it hurts, but we have to do this. Suffering, even unfairness, is so important to the plan, so important for your well-being and growth and glory. You need this. I’m sorry it’s unfair, but you have to go through this.” And He does say those things (not in so many words, but He says it).

And despite the fact that He already paid for your sins and despite all that it cost Him, He also says this, “I know exactly how you feel. Exactly how you feel. I have felt it too. I am here.”

There are reasons for unfairness. There are ways to turn these painful moments into powerhouse experiences that glorify you. There are answers.

But beyond that, there is an ultimate unfairness that was entered into voluntarily because of a deep love. Christ could have received revelation about how to comfort you. He had already paid the ultimate price, but that wasn’t enough for Him. He wanted to take the journey with you. He wanted to feel it personally and walk with you, and when necessary, carry you. He wanted to. Because He loves you. 

He will make it up to you. He will one day answer all of your questions, but until then, rejoice that you are so beloved.

I testify that Christ loves us. He loves us enough to pay the ultimate price for us to come down here, grow, and return home despite our mistakes. But beyond that, He loves us enough to go through what we go through in order to succor us through the entire experience. He is the very definition of above and beyond and it is because of how much He loves you, how much joy He draws from being your greatest Friend.

2 thoughts on “When Things Feel Unfair, Remember This

  1. Christ chose to suffer for my infirmities when He didn’t have to. Another marvelous insight that I had not considered before. Thank you once again.

    I am a big fan of the Chosen. Earlier tonight, I re-watched Season 4 Episode 7 where Jesus raises Lazarus from his tomb after being dead four days. The Apostle Thomas is still grieving the death of the woman he had hoped to marry and can only focus on his “why me” pain and goes WAY off the deep end about how unfair that is to him. Jesus chose to resurrect Lazarus but not his cousin John or Thomas’s beloved and he is really, really angry about it. Jesus tries to explain and console him, but he is having none of it. Christ is truly able to succor us because of the things which he suffered (when He didn’t have to). It is up to us to allow accept His healing gifts.

    This morning, I also re-read The BYU Hawaii address by S Michael Wilcox (It’s almost like I was preparing for my reply many hours before actually reading this post tonight.)

    Bread or Stones: Understanding the God We Pray To

    It is one of my favorites. If there was a Hall of Fame for Devotional addresses, this one would get in on the 1st ballot, and I may have mentioned it before?? A loving Heavenly Father has “letters” addressed to us that we can open and take comfort in them when we are feeling lost and alone.

    The very brief highlights are 1. We worship a 4th Watch God. 2. If we think we are past the 4th watch and still haven’t been rescued, it is because our ships are “tight like unto a dish”. 3 God only gives bread, never stones. He always gives fish, never serpents, always gives eggs, never scorpions. 4. Sometimes our answers don’t come because there isn’t a place holder in our hearts to receive the answer.

    I joyfully marvel at the blessings that come into my life because of your efforts. Keep up the excellent messages. Best wishes always.

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    • Divine correlation! I actually listened to it a long time ago; I should probably refresh though. My husband’s grandma was playing it through her house one time, and I listened to it. I have pondered on the fourth watch God many times. It’s a good one. I’ll have to go back and hear the rest of it! If I could add one to your list, I recommend Corbridge’s Stand Forever. That one always comes back to me.

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