May 4-10

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How to Complain to the Lord 

In Numbers 11, we read about the Israelites getting sick of their miracle, namely the manna in the wilderness which fed them. They remembered all the good food they used to eat in Egypt, and they were mad about eating the same thing for every meal. 

Numbers 11:10 Then Moses heard the people weep throughout their families, every man in the door of his tent: and the anger of the Lord was kindled greatly; Moses also was displeased. 

Moses gets so sick of the Israelites complaining that he asks the Lord to kill him rather than having to deal with them anymore (same, Moses, same). The Lord responds by sending too much meat until they get sick of it.

I want to share my own story, and then I’ll bring it back to the Israelites.

My daughter was baptized in December. It was beautiful. A lot of my family was in town for the wedding and so they got to be there which was magical for me; it also actually complicated things.

The week before the baptism and wedding, the stomach flu went through our house. I rejoiced that we got over it in time for my family to come into town because I don’t get to see my family that often, and I adore being around my family. Unfortunately, the day before the baptism, one of my babies started throwing up again. 

I was actually rather devastated. I hadn’t realized how much excitement I had placed on being with my family and having everyone with us for this huge step in my daughter’s life until it was potentially getting taken away from me. I pleaded with the Lord for it to be a fluke, that she would just throw up once and go a full 24 hours without throwing up again before the baptism. Unfortunately, this miracle was not to be. She threw up again the morning of the baptism.

I texted the family and warned them all that I was still going to my daughter’s baptism and that the baby would be there because I had no one else to watch her. I told them I understood if anyone was too afraid to come because everyone was traveling for Christmas (some on international flights), and there were some pregnant women and other little children. We had some immunocompromised family members. There were many reasons to stay away.

And then I knelt down. I told the Lord that I accepted what He chose to give and withhold, and I worked really hard to feel that acceptance and not just offer lip service. Heaven knows lip service wasn’t going to make me feel any better.

And you know what? He blessed me for it. He opened my eyes to see the fact that I was blessed for having a family that I wanted to be around. Not everyone has that. He helped me see that I have an eternity of Christmases to be with family and celebrate. And most importantly, He helped me see that my daughter’s baptism wasn’t just about that single day. It was about the fact that she was binding herself to her Savior forever. In fact, because of her baptism, I would be able to be with her and the rest of my family for eternity. It was definitely a moment to celebrate. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding it, it would be one of the greatest blessings of her life. 

Now, my family all came anyway, as did my husband’s family who live closer to us. It was perfect and chock full of the spirit and a surprising amount of fun. 

BUT. If my family had chosen to stay away that day, I would have understood. There were plenty of reasons to bail. I would have been terribly disappointed and sad, but it would have likewise been tempered by the Savior’s soft reminders. 

I’ve gotten frustrated with the Lord often enough in my life that I’ve realized it’s fruitless. There have been times when I’ve been filled with anger or sadness or betrayal and turned to the Lord in my immense overwhelm; He has responded by giving me a clearer perspective and teaching me that I can trust Him.

So after a million and one experiences with the Lord and His wisdom, I was able to approach Him with a lot more faith this time. Rather than getting angry with the Lord for not preventing the problem, I approached Him with meekness. As with all things in the Lord, I was the one who was blessed. 

We don’t approach the Lord with meekness to placate His ego. We don’t approach the Lord with meekness to try and get Him to change His mind. We approach Him with meekness because it blesses US. It allows Him to show us the reality of our situation. 

The reality of our situation is this: even in the midst of fast and direct trials like Egypt or in the long and arduous and uncomfortable trials of a journey through the wilderness, we have already won! We actually have every reason to be grateful and when we commit to meekness, we have the Lord to help us remember that. 

Important sidenote: I have learned that meekness can coexist with many different emotions. We often picture a humble, quiet servant who doesn’t talk back or ever complain, but I don’t think that’s the only way to be meek. 

Even in the midst of anger or frustration or exasperation or devastation or annoyance, we can simultaneously say, “I know Thee, Lord. I know I am in Thy hands, and I know that Thou art doing what’s best for me.” You don’t have to turn down your emotions in order to successfully approach the Lord. Just simultaneously bring your knowledge that the Lord is watching out for you. Better yet, take those big emotions to the Lord and ask Him to help you see more clearly so that it’s not difficult to be meek. 

When I approached Him in prayer about seeing my family while they were in town, I was bawling. I’ve definitely approached Him and carried my anger with me. We don’t have to seem all pious and restrained. We can simply cling to our testimony that the Lord loves us and wants what’s best for us.

The truth is, the Lord is often going to do what He’s going to do anyway. If the Israelites had simply approached Moses (or approached the Lord, directly) and asked for some dietary variety, maybe the Lord would have sent the right amount of quail rather than sending a difficult lesson alongside it. However, the blessing of meekness is that regardless of what the Lord chose to send, the Israelites could have been happy.

We came here to struggle. He can’t take that away without simultaneously robbing us of the purpose of the Plan of Salvation (growth), and meekness softens that struggle enough that we can see it more clearly. It enables us to see around it and rejoice anyway. 

I testify that the Lord has your best interest at heart. I testify that He loves you. I testify that meekness over complaining is a gift that blesses us. It honors Him with the deference He deserves, but even our meekness before Him gives back to us. I testify that trials are gifts, and that the Lord provides.